done gone crazy

Midnight. That was when they’d agreed upon. All day she’d been waiting. She looked at the clock, ripe with anticipation. It was 11:56pm. It was almost time.

She looked around the room and laid a soft blanket out on the floor and stood there, considering the angles. Could she really actually go through with it?

Tick tock.

11:57pm. She went to the window and drew back the blinds. Opening the window, she felt the cool night air against her skin and peered out into the darkness, the moonlight casting shadows down through the trees and dancing across the ground outside. Goosebumps rose on her flesh, a little from the chill maybe, but mostly from the adrenaline pumping through her body.

11:59pm. She struck a match to light the few candles in the room and quickly flicked the light switch off. The warm glow lit her skin as she slowly, delicately slid the clothes off her body and laid back on the blanket.

Tick tock.

She inhaled deeply and listened to the wind blowing, the rustling of leaves on the trees, and she could sense that he was already there. This was how they planned it. There was no turning back now.

It was midnight.

At first, she felt so exposed, so vulnerable and yet… exhilarated. My God, what was she thinking?

Laying there, her mind racing, she tried to block out the worries and find a way to quiet her mind. Shush, she thought. They had agreed. This was the only way.

She closed her eyes and ran her hands across her middle, caressing her stomach and slowly gliding her hands up over her breasts, her nipples hardened to smooth pebbles beneath her fingertips and shooting electric tingles throughout her body with the slightest touch. Moving her palms over her waist and down her hips, she felt the warm softness of her skin and let the worries melt away as she imagined him hovering over her, his hands clutching at her passionately in place of her own.

She heard a quiet gasp escape from the window. He was watching her.

Knowing this made her whole body tremble with excitement. A shiver shot up her spine and she exhaled hard. She slipped her hands down her legs, between her thighs and slid her fingers across her flesh, fire hot and tight, yet slick with desire. Her worries washed away as the feelings of pleasure overtook her, mercifully drowning out the little voice in her head. She relented, smiling as she teased herself, sliding her fingers around in little circles, inside and out again, allowing her thumb to graze against her soft skin, bringing wave upon wave of warm liquid bliss.

Mmmmmmmmm. She felt the moans escape her mouth as she held her eyes closed tight, focusing on the cool breeze against her hot skin, the sounds of the trees, still imagining her touch as his touch. Spreading her legs impossibly wide, she abandoned any sense of modesty and over and again delved into herself, one hand between her legs and the other cupping her breast, then up across her forehead, her fingers raking through her hair and pushing it away from her face.

Her moans, growing louder Mmmmmmmm…. mingled with those echoed outside…. mmmmmmmmm… from only a few feet away.

Beads of sweat glistened on her chest as her breathing began to quicken. Her breasts rising and falling, her heart pounding hard and fast. Biting down on her bottom lip, swollen and cherry red, her breathing more like panting, she didn’t know how much longer she would last. She knew she didn’t want the feeling to end. With every sensation she melted, wanted more. It wasn’t enough. More. Just a little more. Oh my God. MORE.

She heard a low throaty groan from outside and the aching sound was all it took to put her over the edge. Oh God, YES, she squealed. The sound of his voice was the final blow, exploding at her core and sending wave upon wave of pleasure throughout her. Her whole body throbbed and bucked as she surrendered. Fuck! Ohmygod ohmygod OH MY GOD! Fuck.

As she laid there, still vibrating, aftershocks continuing to pulse through her body, she brought one hand over her face, flushed red and glowing. Peeking out of her fingers, she smiled a little at the window, and wrapped the soft blanket from beneath her up around her torso, suddenly feeling strangely modest again.

She gazed out into the darkness and saw his silhouette standing there. She swore she saw the hint of a smile as he turned slowly and walked away. She already couldn't wait until she would see him again.

Tick tock.

Yes. Until the next time.

// posted by 143 @ 11:20 PM

There. I said it. No, no. It’s true. You know it. I know it. It’s the truth. A simply stated fact.

I’m not an aspiring novelist, nor am I cataloguing a bike trip through Europe.

I don’t have a new baby whose every first I am trying to capture on this brilliant medium, forming for my family and friends, and perhaps the infant herself, the newest versions of the dreaded slide shows and home movies of yesteryear.

I’m not trying to poison minds or convert sinners or draw like minded people into the wonders of catholic fundamentalism.

I don’t have real estate to sell you and I don’t have any burning Hollywood gossip to share.

Nope. I have no political agenda. I have no wisdom to disseminate. I have NOTHING of any consequence to tell you. I am dull. Ordinary. Extra-ordinary. (Not to be mistaken for extraordinary, a term that, if you ask me – though of course you didn’t - doesn’t at all mean what it should.) And yet, in spite of this, I’m still somewhat compelled to scatter little, unrequested written pieces of myself here.

My point. I have a point: Why would anyone have one of these thingies when they essentially have nothing to say? And don’t be fooled, I DON’T have anything to say. This is not the part when I “surprise” (SURPRISE!) readers and suddenly launch into a beautiful and moving monologue, praising the unsung brilliance of each and every one of us that dares to have a voice. Nope. I wouldn’t do that. (cuz, y’know, it’d kinda be bullshit)

I sit here and I manage to string together a few sentences now and again (sometimes sentence fragments – so sue me), but they aren’t anything of substance. They aren’t relevant. Or timely or profound. Most of the time they’re not even amusing. It’s just me. Wasting cyberspace.

As far as I can tell, I do it because it’s like a little time capsule. A snippet of me at a moment in time, preserved like a snapshot of a little girl, sucking in a big breath of air before she blows out the candles on her birthday cake. Moments that are sometimes a little embarrassing, sometimes far too revealing, and often leave me wondering (much like each and every photo taken of me between the ages of 12 and 14) “What THE HELL was I thinking!!?”

So, anyway… yeah. Even though I admittedly have nothing to say, I can make sense of why I’m here.

But that kinda begs the question… What’s YOUR excuse?

// posted by 143 @ 11:03 PM

Christ. What was she waiting for? She knew what was coming - hell, she couldn’t escape it if she tried - and she wanted to cling to just a few more days of peace. Just a few more days… One more week, one more month, one more year. But really, there was no end to it all. She wondered, just how much longer could she go on like this. How long could her heart hold up?

She knew she was only buying time and that the price was another little piece of her soul. It scared her to death, knowing that if she held out long enough, there would soon be nothing left of her to sell.

// posted by 143 @ 10:29 PM